0 items / $0.00

SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)

$255.00 Sold out

Image of SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)
  • Image of SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)
  • Image of SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)
  • Image of SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)
  • Image of SMALL Fabio's Chest, chest bag thing (next pre order 9/1)


Video: https://youtu.be/Ge4v9t5JkfQ

The bike in the above photos has a stupidly narrow bar. its like a 44. crazy right? can you believe we used to have to ride drop bars that wimpy? well, this size small is designed to fit on your narrow bars so that even narrow bar people (NBP's) can carry snacks without racks.

These are available pre order only : limited run of 50 at a time : made in Seattle by bike bag juggernauts, SWIFT INDUSTRIES

reinforced body is rackless, unless yer bike is too small and it hits yer tyre. then you need a bag support of some sort. My bikes are big, so I have no problem with the front. Another consideration is that if yer running fenders, that'll be enough to keep the bag from rubbing if you think it'll be close. I suspect with the new VELCLOSURE SYSTEM attachment, that it won't rub. but thats just a SUSPECT.

Small (14" with side pockets expanded)

Entire Body
Width: 10"
Depth: 8"
Height: 17" (roll top extended)
Capacity: 28ish Liters

Rigid Body
Width: 10"
Depth: 8"
Height: 10"
Capacity: 16ish Liters

Side Pockets
Width: 5"
Depth: 2"
Height: 8"
Capacity Each: 1.2 Liters

Width when pockets are expanded: 14", but i said that already. you can collapse the pockets if yer hands don't fit... or you can act like its 2017 and get wider bars!

Patches come with the bag, but are not sewn on. They iron on with the same iron you use to straighten your hair every morning.


Universal Features:
Cordura 1000D
70D Coated Ripstop

Extendable Wizard Flap with snap fasteners and dual-closure split back buckles that adjust along the continuous daisy chain to accommodate your growing or shriveling loade.

HDPE enforced rigid body
Cargo Net loops
Dowel sleeve
Bottom daisy chain for rack reinforcement

included 3 nylon adjustable cam straps paired with daisy chains for versatile front and rear attachment.
Benefits: Ultra stable on bars, quick to detach
Note: if yer gonna mount rear, you'll need the leather straps for sale on this restroom cuz they fit through bag loops on yer Brooks.

Fold upward to stow when not in use
Fit regular-sized Nalgene or 40oz klean kantene

This bag culminates eternities of musings while astride a multitude of transportation mediums, spanning flying ruby eyed silken haired dragon lions, to modern day bicycles, e-bikes, and recumbents. The need to carry yer stuff in an attractive and functional manor::: a fine purse accessory for the bicycle, as every bicycle and it’s self respecting master deserve and desire.

First a brief his/herstory::: Bicycle luggage started out attractively enough in the turn of the 19th century, with beautifully crafted leather frame bags and waxed canvas duffels all mounted rackless, directly to the frame. Gear was simple, and required only the essentials. Over the century we began adding racks and clunky, unnecessary gear until the touring bike, once a simple and attractive package, was now an overladen beast brimming with all the comforts of civilization that the tourists were allegedly trying to ride away from!

while that model certainly does still exist (mostly Germans), a new form of paired down off-road touring has emerged in recent years. Due to the unforgiving terrain, gear, and ways of carrying that gear became lighter and more durable out of necessity. Racks were discarded once again, and creative ways of portage persisted. What I am speaking of is of course the modern day “bike packing” craze.

Fast forward to now. Sure that bike packing stuff works great, but daaaaaaaamn is it ugly! Like really f-ing ugly! There is not a single classic aesthetic represented on a modern day bike packers rig, save for perhaps the persistent steel frame material that the bicycles are made from.

It is my belief that when entering the *natural world on a machine, that the aesthetic of that machine should blend in and become part of the landscape instead of a starkly contrasted eyesore. Save that for the strip malls on the outside of town. Classic is classic for a reason, and that’s because it never goes out of style, and nature will (hopefully) never go out of style. So for me, the respectful way of entering the outdoors, is to become part of it, and that is the sentiment, I hope, my high fashion look book will continue to represent.

Without further ado, in partnership with the visionaries at swift industries, I present to you the first ever, classically inspired bike packing bag:::: the ültraswift wizard sleeve. A bag to tour off the beaten path with, but one that looks good enough to leave on yer bike when yer back at yer sweet condo and have to make a run to Trader Joe’s for 10 bottles of house red to entertain yer Game of Thrones viewing party on yer 200" LCD TV.

This truly is a dynamic modern world we are a part of. Be sure you look yer best.


Now onto the tëk spëks::

Martina and I have polled various sorcerers around the tri-state area regarding the very features they attest their general potions and spells to. What I am saying is that we think this bag is mäjik. But not all mäjik pleases everyone.

Bikes and tastes are so variable to the point of needing a statistical super computer that goes beyond general wizardry applications to actually tell us how these bags are going to fit your handlebar width X stem length X headtube length X size of your hands X height of yer saddle X etc.

The mäjik of this bag lies in what you can fit in it. It’s astounding and otherworldly in volume and versatility. There are reinforced daisy chains all over the exterior to lash it just about anywhere you’d like, or not like. Front, or back. That’s the point, you get to figure it out. It’s an infinitely hackable bag that 94.89767% of the time is gonna work great for you.

It’s designed to be used rackless or with a rack. Whatever you need or want. Sum of you might not be able to run it rackless because of the above super computer equation, well then you can use it with a bag support. It would be impossible for me to tell you if it will work on your bike.

Take the measurements and see if you can do it. If you have the handlebar width, or if you use flat bars, jones bars, albatross type bars, mustache bars, etc. GET THE BIG ONE. You won’t be disappointed. If you run the puny bar width, then get the small one, obvs. My signature 666 drop bar comes out next month around the time these will be ready if that helps at all.